


You are the best thing that's ever been mine

by SSA_A



Series: The Family That I Chose [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aaron Hotchner Is A Good Dad, Angst/Comfort, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Jack loves Spencer, M/M, Misgendering, Nightmares, No one really dies, Not Beta Read, Not Really Character Death, Past Aaron Hotchner/Haley Hotchner, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Talking to graves, that was a bit morbid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29491710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SSA_A/pseuds/SSA_A
Summary: “Hello Spencer, I was just talking to Aaron about you.” Aaron jumped over the wall, he was so close to them now. “Have you ever had a knife carved into your skin? Aaron loved it when I did it to him.”
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Jack Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Series: The Family That I Chose [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161950
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No one dies at all, just thought you aught to know

_Aaron was running, he could feel the way his feet slipped on the grass as he tried to get there faster, Spencer was still on the phone, crying for him and Aaron was not letting them die._

_“How would you like Spencer laid out for you? What if I carve my name into his stomach for you, or maybe his head.” Aaron cursed as he heard the words from Foyet’s mouth._

_“If you hurt them I am going to kill you.” Aaron was so close, he could see the building._

_“Oh, are you sure I can’t touch him? Do you remember when I stabbed you, do you remember how sore that was? I think Spencer would enjoy that, don’t you?” Aaron wiped the tears from his eyes, he could not let the words get to him, he needed to get to Spencer and Jack. “After I carve my name into your little boytoy I am going to torture Jack, I am going to let you hear him scream and beg for you before I leave him to bleed out.”_

_“Don’t you fucking touch them. If you even think about it I will hunt you down, I will make sure you never have the time to lay down, I will be following you every single day.” Foyet laughed and Aaron could hear Spencer moaning as they came back to consciousness._

_“Hello Spencer, I was just talking to Aaron about you.” Aaron jumped over the wall, he was so close to them now. “Have you ever had a knife carved into your skin? Aaron loved it when I did it to him.”_

_“You sick bastard. You won’t get away with this.” Aaron was climbing the stairs, he could hear his heavy footsteps echoing around the place._

_“Do you have any last words for your boyfriend? I would say them now if I were you.” Spencer let out a yell and Aaron felt his heart break._

_“Aaron. It isn’t your fault. I love y-” They were cut off by a gun and Aaron screamed as he opened the door to see Spencer on the ground, blood surrounding them, they weren’t moving, they were gone._

_“Aaron.” It was Foyet, and when Aaron looked up he had Jack in his arms. “Aaron?”_

_“No. No.” Aaron couldn’t move, he was stuck in place as he watched Foyet drag a knife through Jack’s throat._

_“Aaron. I need you to wake up.” That wasn’t Foyet talking but it was coming from him. “Aaron. You are safe.” He knew that voice, it was Spencer. But Spencer was dead, weren’t they?_

Someone was shaking him and he opened his eyes, when did he close them? Spencer was beside him and they looked scared. Aaron was sure he had just held their body though, were they not dead? 

“It was a dream. You are in the house, Jack is in his room, we just got back from a case. You are safe.” Spencer was holding him as they talked and Aaron let out a dry sob, they were okay, they were safe. 

“Jack.” He didn’t say anything else but Spencer nodded, letting him go so they could go and get Jack from his room. Aaron sat up in the bed, shaking slightly, and waited to hear the door open again and for Spencer to walk in with Jack in their arms. 

“Daddy?” Jack sounded like he had just woken up and Aaron held in another sob, he needed to hold him and Spencer in his arms. 

“Can Daddy get a hug?” Jack just nodded, squirming to get out of Spencer’s grip before the two of them were sitting beside Aaron, letting him run his hand through their hair. 

“Are you okay Daddy?” Aaron just nodded, he didn’t need to tell Jack that he had seen him die, he didn’t need Spencer to know either. 

“Daddy just had a bad dream, I needed to see you.” Jack nodded into his chest, moving closer into him and Aaron let a few tears drop into his son's hair. 

“I’ll make the monster go away for you.” Aaron let out a small chuckle and he felt Spencer laugh a little as well before the two of them were holding Jack between them. 

“Thank you Buddy.” Aaron moved so he could see Spencer’s face and they were watching him carefully, looking for any signs that he would break, but he just shook his head and mouthed later. Jack fell asleep not long after, arms wrapped around Aaron and Spencer held him move him gently so the two could talk as he slept. 

With one hand in Jack’s hair, and one holding Spencer’s wrist to feel their heartbeat Aaron felt a little safer and he relaxed. 

“It was Foyet. He had you both. He.” He shook his head and Spencer seemed to realize what he meant because they moved carefully and leaned over to kiss him. 

“He is gone. He can never hurt us, because of you we are safe.” Aaron shook his head, he couldn’t protect Hayley, he can’t protect Jack or Spencer. “Listen to me Aaron Hotchner.” Aaron looked up to see Spencer shaking their head at him. “It was not your fault that Foyet killed Hayley, you did everything you could to protect her but he was a sick bastard who wanted to hurt you. You cannot fault yourself for what he did.” 

“I couldn’t protect her. What if someone targets you or Jack? What if I can’t save you?” He was crying, he hated crying but it was like he couldn’t stop it. 

“You did everything you could. It was not your fault and I will keep telling you that for as long as I have to.” Spencer kissed him again and Aaron let them. “I love you Aaron and I know you do everything to protect us.”

“You cannot leave me. You cannot leave Jack.” Spencer nodded, both of them looking down at the sleeping boy between them. “Can you talk to me?”

“How about a story?” Aaron nodded, letting Spencer move one of their hands to his hair before they started to talk gently. “Once upon a time there lived a Scholar and a Knight, they had nothing in common except that they worked for the same Kingdom, which was why the Scholar was confused when they started to look at the Knight more and more, wanting to spend their days with him. The Scholar looked through their books for the answer to what was going on but they found nothing that told them what it was, and during this time the Knight…” Aaron didn’t want to fall asleep but Spencer’s voice was calming and he could feel Jack and Spencer in his arms, they were safe.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaron didn’t know what he was thinking, he had no idea if Spencer would even want to go with them but he wanted to ask anyway. They had been together for a couple of months and they had just told Jack about them so he felt it was time to tell her as well. He also felt that his subconscious was telling him too, his dreams were trying to tell him something and he would be a terrible profiler if he ignored them. 

He waited for Spencer to tidy up the table and he started on the dishes, it was domestic and familiar but that left a weird taste in Aaron’s mouth if he thought about it too long. He didn’t know if he was spitting on her memory, it had only been a year and a bit since she died but they hadn’t been in love for a couple of years by then, so surely he was allowed to be happy with Spencer? She wanted him to be happy, she said she wanted him to find love.

He looked back to his partner, smiling softly as they cleaned up, a small pep in their step as they hummed something and Aaron knew it would be the right thing to do, he wanted them to tell Hayley, she probably knew, he was never the best at hiding his emotions around her. 

“You are staring again.” Aaron looked away as Spencer spoke to him but then he looked back and found their eyes again,  _ now or never _ . 

“Can I ask you something?” Spencer nodded, moving to the sink beside him. “I was going to take Jack to see Hayley tomorrow, I was wondering if you wanted to come?”

Spencer was silent, obviously trying to work out what they wanted to say and Aaron was about to take it back before they spoke. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I know you aren’t a big fan of believing in the afterlife but I do and I want her to know about us.” Spencer’s eyes widened and they just nodded in understanding. 

“If you want to tell her then I will go with you.” Aaron nodded, turning back to the dish in his hands. “What do I wear?” 

“You wear what you want to. Be yourself.” Spencer nods at that and Aaron turns to give them a kiss. “Thank you.” He whispered into their mouth and Spencer just returned the kiss before they could both hear Jack behind them. 

“Yucky. Kisses share germs and germs make you sick.” Aaron raised an eyebrow at Spencer before they blushed a little. 

“That they do kiddo, now what are we watching?” Jack holds out a movie and Spencer takes it from him. “Ohh, a documentary. Where did you get this?” 

“Daddy bought me it. Can we watch it?” Spencer nodded, leaning down to pick Jack up in their arms and Aaron turned back to the dishes. He got lucky with Spencer and he knew that, but there was always a part of him that told him he wasn’t allowed to be happy, he wasn’t allowed Spencer. 

The evening turned to night and the three of them were on the second documentary, something about trains, Aaron wasn’t really paying attention because he knew Jack and Spencer liked watching them and talking to each other about them. He was able to just watch his son and partner interact, and it was nice. He liked the way that Spencer seemed to bend, protecting Jack, and Jack liked them, he had always liked Spencer which was good because Aaron had made the decision to only carry on dating them if Jack gave his okay. 

The three of them fell asleep on the couch, cuddled together for warmth and when Aaron wok in the morning he just stayed there for a little bit, holding his son and partner and he knew it was the right choice, he knew Hayley would want him to be happy, she only wanted him and Jack to be happy.

“What is it with you staring at me? I'm beginning to worry.” Spencer opened their eyes and Aaron let out a small huff before he was helping Spencer out of Jack’s hold. “Morning.” 

“Good morning Darling, how was your sleep?” Spencer moved again so they were sitting in his lap and Aaron’s hands went straight to their waist and it was like they were made for each other. 

“It was good, I would have preferred the bed but Jack wouldn’t let us up if I remember correctly.” Spencer looked down at the boy and Aaron hummed before kissing their neck, getting a small groan in return. “That was mean. I can’t do anything with Jack here.” Aaron grinned but kissed them again, just under where a collar could hide. “I am yours.” 

“Mine.” Aaron whispered into their skin before he kissed again, gently biting them to get that small whimper from their lips, he marked them a few more times, all places no one would see, before he was moving and heading to the kitchen. 

Spencer followed him, and they hopped onto the counter as Aaron pulled out cereal for them and Jack. “You, Aaron Hotchner, are an asshole. I cannot believe you just did that to me and I can’t even drag you to the bedroom.” 

“That isn’t very nice of you, maybe you need to remember your manners.” Spencer shook their head and bit their lip. “That’s what I thought. Now go and shower before Jack is up.” 

“Yes Sir.” Aaron was about to pull Spencer into a kiss but they left the room before he could and Aaron looked to the sky for strength. 

“Daddy where’s Spencer?” Aaron turned around to see Jack at the door and he smiled at the messed up hair that made him look a lot like Hayley. 

“They are in the shower Buddy. Now what would you like for breakfast?” Jack shrugged as he sat at the table and Aaron picked the chocolate squared for him, pouring two bowls before placing Jack’s in front of him.

“What are we doing today Daddy?” Aaron took a bite from his spoon before answering him. 

“I was thinking we could go and visit Mommy today. We can take Spencer with us.” Aaron watched as Jack took in what he said and reacted. He wasn’t  _ profiling _ per say but if he used his skills to see that Jack had an okay reaction then no one needed to know.

“When is Spencer going to live with us? Like Mommy?” Aaron didn’t answer at first, he honestly didn’t know either. “I like Spencer. They make you happy.” 

“I like them too,” He was quiet for a few seconds. “Now can I ask you something?” Jack nods and Aaron took another bite of food. “Does Spencer make you happy?”

“Yeah.” Jack didn’t say anything after that and Aaron stayed quiet as well, the two of them eating in silence before Jack spoke again. “Does Mommy know about Spencer?”

“Not yet, do you want to tell her today?” Jack nodded and Aaron smiled at him. “How about you write a card for Mommy while I get ready?”

“Okay.” Jack finished his cereal and rushed into his room and Aaron let out a small sigh before heading towards the room. As he opened the door, eyes falling on Spencer trying to decide what they wanted to wear.

“Is this like a suit and tie occasion? Or maybe a sweater vest? Aaron, please, help me.” Spencer fell back on the bed and Aaron moved over to them, picking up a sweater they had thrown on the ground. 

“You look amazing in anything, why are you stressing out?” Spencer huffed something and Aaron narrowed his eyes at his partner. “Spencer. Words.”

“It’s just, she was your wife for years and she was gorgeous. Your childhood sweetheart, what am I? A weirdo from work. We can’t even tell the team. You could have anyone-” Aaron cut them off with a kiss before he moved away and pulled their face into his hands. 

“I choose you Spencer. You make me happy, you make Jack happy, and you are not a ‘weirdo from work’ you are My Spencer Reid, My Darling, and Hayley only ever wanted me to be happy so she would love that I have you.” Spencer shook their head not wanting to believe his words. 

“But, she-” Aaron gave them that look and Spencer didn’t finish their sentence. 

“Believe me when I say she would have loved you, and I think she may have actually known I liked you, she made jokes about it when we were together.” Spencer’s eyes went wide and Aaron kissed their nose gently. “You don’t need to believe me right now, but you will in time.” 

“I’m sorry.” Spencer shook their hair, rubbing a hand on their face roughly. “You need to get ready, thank you.” 

“Always Darling. I’m going for a shower so if Jack needs me can you deal with it?” Spencer hummed their understanding and Aaron headed into the shower, wanting to forget the way Spencer had said ‘weirdo from work’ and ‘What am I?’, if Aaron had to tell them everyday how much he cared then he would do that, he would tell them every second of the day if they needed that. 

The shower was hot, not the warm kind of hot that was nice, no it was burning and just how Aaron needed it. He preferred hotter showers, after his shitty childhood, his father forcing him into ice cold showers he never wanted one again. He tried to ignore the way he could feel his hands on his skin, the way he was marked by him, but it was like the nightmares were bringing the past into his mind and he hated it. 

After a little while in the shower he turned it off and dried himself off with a towel and changing before he was brushing his teeth and flossing before he was ready to head out. He opened the door and the first thing he heard was laughter, and he was quiet for a little bit as he listened to Jack and Spencer laughing with each other. He walked carefully, trying not to make a noise as he stood at the doorway of the kitchen and watched Spencer tickle Jack before lifting him up and twirling him in their arms. 

He watched for a few more seconds before Spencer turned to see him and they let Jack down so he could run over to Aaron calling him. “Daddy! Spencer made me a hat! Look!” Jack pulled a paper pirate hat from the table and Aaron raised an eyebrow at it. “It’s cool!”   
  
“It sure is, Buddy. Are you ready to go?” He looked at Jack’s outfit, obviously Spencer had helped him pick it since it did match. 

“Yeah. I made Mommy a card and I made one for you and Spencer.” Jack handed him a card and Aaron opened it, reading the words quickly before handing it to Spencer so he couldn’t read the words again and cry.

_ Hi Mommy. Daddy and Spencer are togather and that makes me ~~hapie~~ happy. Spencer is very nice, they make me and daddy happy! We love you mommy _

Spencer seemed to have the same issue because they cleared their throat and handed the card back to Jack. “That is a very nice card, thank you Jack.” 

“Your welcome. Can we go?” Spencer chuckled slightly, but nodded. “Race you to the car!” Jack was off in seconds and Aaron turned to Sencer with a soft smile. 

“Are  _ you _ ready?” He asked his partner, hands coming to rest on their face. “I don’t want to force you to do anything.” 

“Aaron, Darling, I want to go with you and Jack. You have never forced me to do anything and I know you would never hurt me. Why are you saying this now?” Aaron dropped his hands, but Spencer grabbed them with their hand and tilted his head up with their hand. “Talk to me, do not close those walls."   


“Can I tell you after?” Spencer nodded at him. “I will tell you, just let us go see Hayley.” He kissed Spencer gently before leaving the room and moving to the door that Jack had left open in his race to the car. 

Spencer walked behind him, just out of reach so Aaron turned around and grabbed their hand before they were both at the side of the car with Jack watching them. “You took forever!”

“Sorry Buddy, we had to talk. You get buckled up and we can head out.” Aaron unlocked the car and the three of them got in, making sure they were buckled up before Aaron started the car. “What way first Jack?” 

“Uh, it’s left?” Aaron looked into the mirror to see his son holding his hands out with a frown. “No. The other left?” 

“Right?” Spencer turned to see him and Jack nodded. “What hand do you write with?” 

“My right.” Spencer nodded and Jack continued as Aaron drove through the streets. “Daddy uses his right hand to write. But, Kelly doesn’t. Why?” 

Aaron glazed over at Spencer, he had no idea, but his partner might. “Well, it is all about your genetics, you get from your Mommy and Daddy. You have brown eyes like Daddy right?” Jack nodded, leaning forward to hear more from Spencer. “So because Daddy is right handed then you got that from him.” 

“Okay. What if I wasn’t the same?” Spencer hummed softly, and Aaron wondered where they had even read up on this. 

“Then that means someone else is left handed. Maybe it was Mommy, or Daddy’s parents. Someone in your family would be left handed,” Jack accepted that and looked out of the window with a smile. “You should keep your eyes on the road.” 

“They are.” Aaron glanced over to be met with Spencer’s disbelieving look. “I can glance over every so often, I like seeing you with him. You are a natural at it.” 

“The Reid Effect says differently.” Aaron frowned, he honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone on the team even mentioned that to their face or even to each other. He could see from their body language that they weren’t very happy about the ‘Reid Effect’ so Aaron moved one of his hands from the wheel to hold their leg. 

“I’m sorry that we joked about that, I would never want to make you feel bad about yourself.” Spencer hummed nonchalantly, making Aaron look over at him quickly. “I want to talk to you when we get back, we both need to talk I think.”

“What about Jack?” The boy looked up as he heard his name, but went back to talking quietly to himself. 

“He will fall asleep sooner than us, and then we are going to have a proper discussion because that is what adults do.” Aaron knew it was a bit hypocritical of him to say they needed to talk since he wasn’t one to talk to anyone when he needed to. 

“As long as we have ice cream I think I can live with that.” Aaron nodded, squeezing Spencer’s thigh gently before he was turning the last corner into the cemetery. He parked at the top of the hill and killed the engine as the car went silent.

“Are you ready, Jack?” Spencer opened their door and got out, moving to help Jack out of his own side, and Aaron took a few seconds to himself. He had made sure Spencer was okay with joining them but now that he was here his chest was tight and his stomach was turning. 

“How about we give Daddy a few minutes?” Aaron could hear Spencer’s voice through the door and he looked up to see his partner watching him with concern. “Wow, what is that?” Spencer pointed a few metres away and Jack ran over with Spencer following behind. 

Aaron watched the two of them sit on the bench, Jack playing on the ground in front, and he closed his eyes and started to talk to the empty car. “God, Hayley, I know you can hear me. I miss you, and Jack misses you every day, I know he talks to you all the time. We need you still, I need you, and I am so sorry. I am so sorry Hayley, forgive me.” 

He knew that he wasn’t going to get a reply, she was dead and she wasn’t coming back, but in the back of his mind he knew she would tell him to stop blaming himself, that he needed to care for Jack still and that Spencer needed him like she did. He knew she would want him to be happy and he would be.

He sniffed a few times, rubbing his eyes clear of any tears, and he got out of the car. He watched as Spencer and Jack walked back over to him, well, Spencer walked over carrying Jack in their arms. 

“When did we get a monkey?” Aaron moved to kiss Jack on the head as he placed a hand on Spencer’s waist. 

“I’m not a monkey!” Jack laughed at him and Aaron raised an eyebrow, turning to Spencer who smiled at him. 

“Spencer is this a monkey?” His partner nodded with amusement in their eyes. “I think we should test it first, monkey’s are not ticklish. Spencer, will you do the honors?” Aaron watched as Spencer moved one of their hands to tickle Jack’s side who let out a shriek. 

“Oh, I think this  _ is _ Jack,” Spencer grinned at the boy in their arms, “I am very sorry about the mistake, but you look like a monkey.” 

“I do not!” Jack stuck his tongue out at them both and Aaron watched him and Spencer make faces at each other as they walked down the path. “Daddy is a monkey.”

“We should test that later, I need to put you down now.” Jack just nodded as Spencer spoke, and moved to let them set him down on the ground. He grabbed one of Spencer’s hands and then one of Aaron’s before the three of them were walking down the path quietly, until they stopped at the row of stones that Hayley was in.

Spencer let Jack go first, watching the boy as he sat at the gravestone with his mom's name on it and they swallowed loudly before Aaron could grab their hand and turn them around so they faced each other.

“Do you want to go together?” Spencer nodded at his question and Aaron squeezed their hand in a reassuring manner before they were making their way to Jack who was talking to the stone in front of him. 

“And then we went to the park, Aunt Jessica even got us ice cream there. We played all day, and then when we went home Daddy and Spencer were back and we watched movies and fell asleep on the sofa.” His son stopped talking as Aaron sat down, pulling Spencer down as well. “Tell Mommy what we did.”

“When we watched the train movie?” Jack nodded at him, waiting for the story, he hadn't watched the documentary, just watched his son and partner enjoy themselves. “Okay. We had ice cream, we settled on the couch for the night, and you wanted to watch How to build a Train. You kept asking Spencer questions until you fell asleep on them, we then watched the rest of the movie before falling asleep.” Aaron spoke to his son who nodded all the way through the retelling of the night. 

“That was fun! Mommy did you know that Spencer is smart? They know everything!” Aaron heard Spencer chuckled at his words but they kept quiet so he turned to them and gestured to the stone to get them to talk. 

“Oh. Okay. Hi, Hayley. I hope you know how amazing a son you and Aaron raised, he is a perfect little gentleman just like his Dad. I don’t know what to say, but Aaron and Jack are both watching me now, so just know I will take care of them, I promise.” They stopped talking and Aaron blinked a tear away, his heart was fluttering and he just knew he loved Spencer Reid. 

Aaron didn’t hear Jack as he started to talk again, he was just focused on his new realization and staring at Spencer. They hadn’t said it to each other and Aaron wasn’t sure if a couple of months was too early to say those words, he knew that Spencer had had a bad idea of relationships from their childhood and he didn’t want them to think he just threw those words around because he did not. 

“What is on your mind?” Aaron didn't even realize that Spencer had turned to look at him, but he shook his head at them, leaning over to kiss their temple. 

“Just thinking, sorry for drifting.” He moved closer to them, leaning his head on their shoulder and the two of them watched Jack as he talked to Hayley, and as the day passed Aaron knew he would do anything for Spencer Reid because he loved them, he just hoped they loved him as well. 


End file.
